This week started out ROUGH and it’s made me realize that I have a long, long way to go on my mental healing journey. I felt that I’ve been fine for almost 4 months now and I was wondering if it was always going to be this way from now on. Then just one thing after the other just started piling on top of each other until I reached my mental capacity for bullshit and BOOM! I was out of commission for THREE DAYS! That’s just plain unacceptable.
It took me 3 days to get my mental state back on track and back into my daily routines, 3 days to crawl back to normalcy. I even had to call out of work on a Monday to just lay down and watch movies all day and just have a day of nothing. Not seeing or responding to anyone, not doing anything not even saying one word all day. After listening to some powerful podcasts I learned that I may suffer from what they call, “trapped emotions”.
It’s an interesting term, basically it’s when you’ve suffered some type of traumatic event(s) throughout life and you never gave yourself the time of day to deal with those emotions. You never got over it because “you didn’t feel like crying” or “getting into your feels right now”, so instead you just ignored it and pushed it down. But the problem with that, as I have recently found out, is that the smallest trigger can onset ALL of those emotions that you have been swallowing down and it all comes out at once which can lead to drastic events taking place. It can lead to being decommissioned for days instead of just a few minutes or hours, as it should take if you had properly dealt with said traumatic emotions.
I think this is something everyone should look into rather than the alternative of ignoring it. There is no one set way of “dealing with your emotions” but I recommend you at least explore the idea. I do a lot of journaling and writing, I like to process things slowly before confronting them. I don’t know if part of “dealing” with your emotions means confronting the person you have those issues with but I don’t think it would hurt… I mean, every situation is different but this can definitely be a completely internal thing and let’s just leave others out of it. Let yourself ugly cry, Lord knows I have, let yourself scream and be angry and really FEEL your feelings and THEN MOVE FORWARD IN LIFE! I would hate for my issues today and from last year and from 6 years ago to still be the same trapped issues/emotions that I carry around with me in 5 to 10 years from now. I would hope that I have moved on by then, but I know the only way for that to even occur is by dealing with those emotions, those feelings, those demons RIGHT NOW.
Just something I’d though I’d share with y’all. I know I have a long road ahead of me and I can’t wait to see where I’m at once all of that is resolved and behind me, for good.