Author: Selina Rodriguez

Is 25 A Milestone?

Personally, I believe that whatever birthday you feel is special can be considered a milestone. However, the 25th birthday is considered a milestone for most as it marks you at a quarter of a century old. Plus, the ever-growing fear of reaching your 30s starts to persist a little more. Additionally, some may even experience a small nagging voice that sounds like their own, but as an 8-year-old child who once said “At 25, I’m going to be married with a house and kids”. When in reality I am now 25, single, and living with my best friend, still traveling my path toward finding my own version of success. So, yeah… I would consider 25 to be a milestone age.

My 25th Milestone

My Silver Birthday has been the only birthday I’ve really celebrated. Generally, I don’t celebrate my birthday with more than dinner. But this year I had a whole celebration week and it was pretty great! There were a lot of factors in this year being one to celebrate more than the rest.

Moving On

For one, I was preparing to move out of Jacksonville! Which has been a dream of mine since I was a girl! Me and Gabs both left Jax and made it out to Daytona Beach! 10 minutes from the beach, an amazing new apartment with a lake view, and just good vibes all around!

Forever 25

I also felt this birthday was very important because Manny is forever 25. I know he wouldn’t want me to sulk and be sad and he would only ever want me to live a life worth living. Because that’s how I would feel if things were swapped. So I celebrated the hell out of my birthday for me and Manny and I will continue to do so every year.

My Time

Lastly, I just have this strong, deep-rooted feeling that this move, this age, and this time in my life is going to bring on new and exciting experiences and adventures! It’s already been a week living in Daytona Beach and I’ve already secured my dream job as a Writer! Working hard on Forever Aesthetic Parties and working hard on my own personal writing ventures, this year is THE Year.

Things I’ve Realized

As I turn 25 I still feel as if I were only 18 but I have a higher sense of accomplishment. I know I’ve achieved so much already and I know I am on the right path in life. I stop regularly to remind myself of everything I’ve carried out to make sure I enjoy the moment in the here and now, rather than always skipping the small period of celebration before moving on to my next goal. I’ve realized that even though I haven’t achieved everything just yet, it’s all on its way to me right now. I just have to keep moving forward on my path chosen and it will be a stupendous fucking life, that is 100% fact.

Advice For A 25 Year Old

Advice that I’ve been implementing for myself as a 25-year-old single woman, is to live in the moment. Live presently, enjoy the moment, inhale the joy, the adventure, the experience, and exhale all the fear, the stress, and worry. Everything will work out just as it is supposed to, as long as you stay motivated and always keep going. If you never stop trying, you will never truly fail, no matter how many times you fall down.

A Summary Of Shared Moments

Is there ever a time when you’ve wondered about the importance of shared moments? Whether it be with a friend, a family member, or anyone else in your inner circle, these moments can be rather defining for some. We never know what will have a real effect on our lives, or what small moment can lead to the biggest change of our life until it happens. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.” 

The Value Of Shared Moments

The value of shared experiences is threefold. It is through defined moments that you build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Your life will feel more fulfilling as your sense of purpose is broadened and you will experience longer-lasting happiness. Now let’s break this down a little more.

Defining Moments

A defining moment is a moment when you realize who you are and what you believe in. It is a transformative effect on our perceptions and behaviors that defines us. A majority of those moments happen either with or because of friends or family. For instance, a key defining moment for me was the day I lost my brother, a pivotal turning point in my life that forever altered who I am. 

However, a defining moment does not necessarily have to mean life or death. Most of my defining moments have occurred with my close circle, and being influenced by them or because of them. My choice to open my own business with a best friend was a defining moment. It has altered my behavior as I transitioned into becoming a new business owner. Traveling to work events on a whim with my same friend was another defining moment and has helped to change my perception of reality.

Lastly, through having deep conversations with my family, I have come to find even more defining moments appearing in my life. Defining moments is what makes for stronger, more meaningful relationships with your loved ones. Getting to know someone on a deeper level as you experience those shared moments. Hearing their stories and understanding why they are the way they are. This will all help you to develop bonds with these individuals and help to create more defining memorable moments in your life. 

A Broadened Sense Of Purpose

Having shared experiences broadens one’s perspective on life. By sharing experiences with people from different backgrounds and cultures, we can learn from them and gain a better understanding of the world. This can help us to develop empathy and compassion for others, and to become more tolerant and open-minded. In other words, shared experiences contribute to broadening your sense of purpose which helps you to view life through a new lens. One that is better suited to who you are, helping you to find your like-minded tribe.

Longer Lasting Happiness

As a final point, shared experiences offer you longer-lasting happiness. As you grow and develop new perspectives and mindsets, you cherish the ones closest to you more. You can appreciate life and really understand that living a life that is true and authentic to yourself is all you really need to be happy. Once you figure yourself out and know what you seek in this life, it makes it easier to always feel grateful. Grateful for all that you have and have accomplished. Grateful for all that you have experienced and the people whom you shared those moments with.

Shared Moments Of Love Are What Bind Us Together

Shared moments are the thread that binds life together. These shared moments are precious and unique, and if you’re living life on your own terms, they come often. There is exceptional value in shared moments, between partners, friends, and loved ones. They bring about new defining moments in your life, they broaden your sense of purpose through experience and they help you to truly love your life! Why is this important? Because it helps you to understand yourself better and to appreciate the beauty of life. It allows you to create meaningful connections with the people around you and to find your true purpose in life. It helps you to become more resilient and to develop a deeper understanding of yourself and of the world. 

In conclusion, a life filled with moments of love is a life well lived. So go out there and create those lasting shared experiences with the ones you love most and discover more of yourself in the process.

The Power Of A Hug

Have you ever noticed that when you receive a hug from the right person it can literally turn your entire day around? Ever wondered why that is? Well, hugs are more than a polite way to say hello & goodbye to your friends & family. Follow along to see the health benefits of hugging as well as what the affects of not enough hugs are & why you should always give more!

Health Benefits Of Hugs

Who knew there was such a thing as science behind a hug?! There are many benefits to hugging which include a decrease in stress, pain & illness. With an increase in happiness, support & deeper relationships.

What Happens In The Brain?

When you receive a hug that lasts longer than 10 seconds, also known as a bear hug or a heart-to-heart hug (more on this later), it triggers the release of Serotonin in the brain. This increase of Serotonin helps one to feel happy, calm & confident with a decrease in stress. Most anti-depressants are advertised to increase the production of serotonin. So, if you’re feeling down & having a bad day, remember a hug could be just the right thing you didn’t know you needed.

What Happens In The Body?

Hugging longer than 10 seconds causes a release of a chemical called Oxytocin in our bodies. This chemical is associated with feelings of happiness & less stress. With an increase in Oxytocin your body experiences a domino effect of reduced inflammation, improved healing time, a lower heart rate & blood pressure & even reduced physical pain! That’s a whole lotta power behind a hug!

The Effects Of No Hugs

All the benefits of receiving a hug are lost when you go through a hiatus of no hugs. Lack of physical touch in your life leads to an increased risk of stress, anxiety & even depression. The stress hormone, Cortisone, is then triggered & released into your body. Causing a domino effect of increased heart rate, blood pressure, & even muscle tension. It even affects quality of sleep as well as your immune & digestive systems, leaving your body unable to function efficiently. In short, it’s best for everyone if you make getting your daily dose of hugs a priority!

What Are The Best Type Of Hugs?

A real hug to me is considered to be a bear hug or a heart-to-heart hug, also known as the hugs that last more than 10 seconds. The kind where you’re squeezed so tight, that by the pure power of love, it melts away all your problems.

A bear hug is like a normal hug but closer & much tighter. It usually makes you feel warm, safe & protected from the outside world. I know quite a few people who specialize in bear hugs & they are my favorite kind of people!

A heart-to-heart hug is when both huggers embrace with their left sides, allowing your hearts to touch first. This type of hugging is usually shared between close family members, friends & your significant others, someone you have a deep relationship with. These are the most comforting & the ones you will always cherish!

A Challenge For You

Today I challenge you to go out & hug someone you care about! A friend, a family member, even a close co-worker! Start a domino effect of hugs & see how fast the room’s happiness levels spike! Remember that everyone is at a different stage in life & could be in need of a real hug. So I challenge you to promote the spread of kindness & the spread of love through the simple act of hugging & watch joy spread like wildfire!

Your 2023 BluePrint

This year I plan to accomplish a lot, even more than I accomplished last year. So I made sure to pay close attention to what my goals are & what they mean to me! By taking the time to plan out the path I want to lead this year, it sets me up for accomplishing all my short-term & longterm goals. I am a strong believer that your words create your reality and I am a powerful creator!

Importance Of Goal Setting

It was Locke who first brought about the thought of goal setting. In his study he states that by having a conscious & purposeful goal it increases your chances of your desire coming true. In other words, knowing what you want & creating plans to make the necessary progress is goal setting.

When you consciously create a specific and purposeful goal, taking action becomes more desirable. It triggers new behaviors, guides your focus and helps you to sustain your momentum throughout. All helping you to achieve your ultimate goal & proving just how important goal setting is.

Triggering New Behaviors

When you set goals that mean something to you, it motivates you to start actively making changes. Changes that will redirect your path to the one that is going to take you across the finish line. A lot of the time our goals are set to improve ourselves & our lives in some type of way. This would require change in our daily routines, in our habits and ways of thinking. Triggering new behaviors to help you achieve your goals and evolving more into your own.

Guiding Your Focus

By writing out your goals and putting them in a place where you see them daily, helps to guide your focus. The new trend this year is the bingo card listed with all our goals, which I set to my phone’s Lock Screen. Seeing it every time I use my phone gets me excited about my future and helps to remind me what I’m working towards. In other words, guiding my focus towards my goals. Having a strong why behind your goals will also help you stay focused on becoming the person you need to be or rather, become.

Sustaining Momentum

Being reminded of your goals on a daily basis helps you to sustain your momentum. Once you get going, it helps you want to keep going. For instance, if you’ve ever started going to the gym & had to stop, then you know what it’s like to lose your momentum. You also know how hard it is to get your momentum back and getting back on your regular routine! So keeping your momentum & energy levels high throughout the process is going to be the key to your success

Set Your 2023 Goals Today!

Setting your goals for 2023 at the beginning of the year will give you the opportunity to actually achieve them! Most people will have goals for themselves but never write them down or remind themselves enough about them. This leads us to get sidetracked by tasks that won’t ever contribute to our success.

For instance, binge-watching tv shows when you know you should be working on your business. Or procrastinating or putting things off for days at a time. By writing them down now and reading them and seeing them regularly is important. It consciously makes you aware on a daily basis what your goals are and what you need to do to get there.

So today I challenge you to sit down and think about what you want from this year. What do you want to have accomplished and what kind of person do you want to become? These changes should not come easily they should require real effort and sacrifice to get there. Evolving into someone that has accomplished said goals. It all starts with the first step.

The first step being:

Set & Write Down Your Goals Now & Create Your 2023 Blueprint !

Months

I can’t believe it’s already December! The final month of 2022… I’m in awe. Looking back on all my pictures, I see a different version of myself every month throughout the year. Each month after the next, having overcome whatever hard times, difficult lessons or unexpected experiences, that were thrown my way. All over a span of 12 months.

Last 12 Months

It was this month last year that I vowed to make 2022 my year! Take back what’s mine and get my life on track! One of the main reasons I love to write is to look back on where my mind was back then. It really opens my eyes to realize how much I’ve changed from the girl writing in those journals. To the woman I am evolving into daily.

I also enjoy looking back to see what my goals were at the time and if and when I had accomplished them yet. I was surprised to look back on last years entries and discover that I’d accomplished a lot of what I said I would. Things that I just scribbled down when the idea came to me! Then pages of scribbles on how I was going to get myself across the finish line. I go through my manic check-lists and notes and I realize that I’m doing pretty good.

No matter what my obstacle was, each month I conquered it. I learned from it and I grew from it. This year was no straight-line but it was a wild one and I’m thankful for everything that has happened during it. I have lots of great memories from these last 12 months, new friendships and old ones rekindled. New travels and memories and so many new experiences! It was a lot of ups and downs but I made it! I made it to the end, having kept my integrity of my word. Accomplishing all that I said I would.

Next 12 Months

Now we are onset to enter 2023 in just a few weeks. I am already in the mindset of planning and preparing to kick ass next year! I feel a tremor of excitement as I sit down to write all my future plans. Knowing that I’ve accomplished most of what I said I would last year. Knowing that I will accomplish all of what I set in motion for this year.

This new year I will enter into the colorful age of 25. Back when I was 8 and dreaming of being a writer. I pictured a very different life for myself by this time. But life threw all these unexpected twists and turns on my path and has redirected me to where I am now.

The point: Life changes day-by-day, different versions of yourself will immerse and flourish. Then when it’s time to move on, a new version is planted and sprouts and has its time in the sun. Each seasoned version teaching you a new life lesson, giving your more insight and meaning to life. Each version overcoming a struggle to grow more into the person you were always meant to be. Building the relationships that will help you reach into the next level of your life.

I know this year will bring 12 new months of new challenges. New lessons, new wisdom, new struggles and new successes. Each of the coming months I will slowly evolve more into myself as I overcome and conquer whatever is thrown at me. And do you know why? Because I refuse to ever become a victim to the circumstances of this world.

Life has so much more meaning than what’s happening on social media or staying at a job or place that you truly hate. Life is about the moments, the relationships you build, the experiences you have. It’s about seeing the beauty around you and being in shock of how it all exists. Life isn’t forever, so I will not be wasting time on the trivial. I know what matters to me and I plan to dedicate my life to that.

In, Conclusion

In conclusion, resolution time is on the rise. As we end 2022 and enter into 2023 I challenge you to take some time to reflect and write down your goals. Think about what you want to accomplish, where you want to be and who with and WRITE IT DOWN. Then we will each live one day at a time, slowly evolving into the person who will accomplish every single goal written. Our minds are more powerful than you think, and it’s up to you on what you set your mind to. It’s up to you, to achieve whatever you want to get out of life.

Solitary

I never knew how hard it would be to find a word that describes living and being on your own without it having such a negative context to it. The best one I could find is solitary. My question though is, why does being & living on your own have such a cynical spin to it. I think that finding peace in your own company is something to be cherished and appreciated.

People are scared of feeling “lonely” but I feel grateful to spend this time with myself, to learn myself and to better understand myself. Don’t you always hear the saying, “You can’t find happiness with someone else if you aren’t even happy on your own” because I know I’ve heard this several times. So please, let’s discuss.

The So Called “Cons” of Being An Introvert

When people see a person living on their own, single, only a few friends – but even those friends have families and lives of their own, or maybe you just see someone enjoying their day on their own, all of sudden you get the urge to go “Awww”. Why is that? Why do we as a society deem being on our own as being in a state of alarm? For example let’s look at the synonymous words I found for solitary:

  • unpleasant
  • overlooked
  • struggle
  • withdrawn
  • lonely

The list can go on and on, but as you can see for yourself, apparently being an introvert deems you not one with the ways of society.

My Personal Found Benefits of Being Reclusive

Here is what I’ve found to be true for myself, although others may find other truths that they deem right for themselves.

Being solitary doesn’t mean not socializing, it doesn’t mean no friends or no communication. To me it means having your close friends your close family, your intimate group of people. But when everyone is out busy living their own lives I can still find peace in being with just myself.

I enjoy going out and doing some of the soul fulfilling things I’ve maybe been putting on the back burner. I go out on mini picnic dates on my own, I go out and treat myself to Starbucks, I go and enjoy my day and my time with just me and my thoughts.

During this time I like to reflect on the situations I’ve been finding myself in lately. I analyze and come to the conclusion that I’m just a normal woman living her life. A life of peace is all that I desire and what’s more peaceful than time spent with yourself? I love reading a good book, I love writing to my readers and I love listening to calming music to sit back and breathe and take in all the beauty of the world around me.

I don’t find myself feeling lonely but I find myself feeling more fulfilled in my life. I feel that I have purpose when I am able to spend time with myself and know that I truly love the woman I am becoming and I can find peace within myself.

Flipping Cynical to Magical

Being alone needs to stand for something more than what it currently does. Being alone means knowing yourself, knowing what you want. It gives you time to analyze and appreciate things more. It gives you a chance to build more meaningful relationships with people. It gives you the opportunity to learn what does and does not make you happy and to do more of the stuff that makes you feel content.

Here are a few things you can try to flip this negative spin on being alone around.

  • Go out on mini day adventures
  • Have solo picnic dates
  • Try a new coffeeshop every once in a while
  • Go to the beach and read your favorite book
  • Listen to a podcast why overlooking a lake
  • Ride your bike more & take in the beauty of your surroundings

This list is minimal, but you get the gist. There are so many things that people can find peace in by being solitary. Explore the city you live in and see all that the Universe is made up of. Most importantly, discover who you are and what you stand for, find your true inner happiness and enjoy the life we have all been gifted.

Until next time my dear sweet readers!

Becoming.

Hello sweetness! Here’s the update on what’s becoming of my mental lately.

The becoming update

Lately, I’ve been feeling more like myself again but it’s very bittersweet. Part of me wants to stay in the comfort and warmth of what is already so familiar to me. The other part of me is ready and excited for this new chapter! Recently the world has been pulling and pushing me forward on this new path but I’m still looking back and waving goodbye to what was. It’s a melancholy feeling but I feel like it is the right thing, I am on the right path and I will keep moving forward.

The job

My job as a server is serving (pun intended) its purpose, but in the background I am working and coming very much up to the top on other things. I am pushing full force towards my dream of being a successful business owner. Gabby and I’s bounce house business is on the verge of skyrocketing and I know this is just the first of many. There will be so much more to follow and I am becoming more at ease with this movement. A shift in life – more towards the life I’ve always dreamt of for myself.

The becoming dream

I have been working on my interior design portfolio and have great plans to go far with this entrepreneurial endeavor, something that I can call my own and something where I can express everything that I am so amazing at! I just recently became a contracted writer, something that I’ve also always dreamt of also, ever since I was 6 and watched Matilda for the first time.

Everything has been aligning perfectly and I am moving forward with excitement and a little bit of fear, but really mostly the excitement part. I am elated to be on this path and I know that I’m becoming the me that is meant to be here. The more I continue to focus on myself, the more I am becoming me. To serve my purpose here and live up to my full potential. Who wouldn’t be excited for that!?

The gist

So my advice to you my dear sweet readers is to take the leap, go in with fear and excitement for what is about to come to fruition and always be moving forward. Appreciate the good times and cherish the moments you have with your loved ones but always be moving forward. Do not get stuck lingering in the past of what was, it is time to move forward to what is about to materialize into your reality and start becoming.

The Aftermath.

Hello again! I’ve been MIA for a little bit, so here’s the update. I’ve been feeling at a loss for words lately. So much has been happening and not happening, so many things have been coming at me so fast and others seem like they’re taking forever.

I need to find a way to re-center myself and figure out what I’m doing. I’m about to be 25, the age Manny was and I’m not ready for that because I have all of nothing together. But I don’t want to continue down this spiral and luckily I’ve realized that. So today marks a day. ‘The Day’ – that I decided to get my shit together. Only now, the real question is – How?

I don’t know… But I know it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to take a lot of work to get out of old habits and start wanting more for myself. Letting go ain’t easy. As I’m sure most of you already know because that is after all, just life. I’m not sure how to go into more detail without just ‘going in on the details’, but that’s really not what I want to do with this. It’s not about The Who or The Why it just matters how I’m going to fix this.

The aftermath of the situation is now I must choose between being a person outside of my usual character in bad way or be a person outside of my usual character in a good way. I’ve been living a lie for a few months now, living beyond my means and it’s catching up. I’ve been focusing on the wrong people and the wrong things that are starting to make me stray, and forcing me forget about my goals.

I feel that I’ve been trying too many things all at once and I’m not able to put in my full 100% into any of them. When I really just need to take a step back and re-center on what’s the MOST important thing to me right now and how is that going to help me the most in the long run. So I know that solution will have to be something that requires a lot of sacrifice because I know I’ve been pretty selfish with my time this last year.

You know you don’t care anymore when your actions are being led by emotion. So, I really need to eliminate the biggest factor that is playing with my emotions right now. Problem is, that’s gonna be what I can only sum up as – ughhhhh. But at least I know it’s what needs to be done, it’s just the admitting it and the living it after. I don’t want my life to be so serious – I just want only good things to happen and to live a happy life with no problems or hiccups ever… FANTASIES apparently, wish I would’ve learned sooner.

All in all, I need to get my shit straight – is the end of this. I can go on and on about how much I’ve messed up but just know I’m working on it and I do have a plan in the works. Sooooo stay humble out there cuz it will catch up eventually.

Peace of Mind

There comes a point in life where you must choose peace of mind over anything else. No matter what is at stake, what relationships will flow away with the wind, you have to say goodbye in order to move on with your own life. To move on from the anxiety, the sadness, the drama of it all and decide that you choose your own mental health over all of this.

I have been in a weird mood lately. I’m finding myself to be in that state more often than usual and I don’t know how to help myself get back to normalcy. But I do know that any other stressors in my life that I can let go of, I should. I need to find my way back to myself and do all that I can to ensure that I live the life I deserve. I do not deserve to be questioned on trivial topics that have no real meaning in life. I do not deserve to be treated like a side show that anyone can just start shit with whenever they’re bored. I do not deserve to be anyone’s back up plan or last choice.

I feel that I am still too close to it all. Jacksonville is where pretty much all of my family is and I’m tired of secluding myself yet still being surrounded. I need to get out of here because sometimes it feels as if I can’t breathe here. It’s time for me to move on to my next chapter and find the true peace of mind I’ve always been searching for. I’ve been more distant as I am finally creating my own chapter, no longer apart of anyone else’s. Sometimes I just feel like I’m so separated that I truly feel like I’m out in the world alone.

I need peace of mind. I need tranquil surroundings. I need no more drama. I need happiness and freedom. I need air to breathe and I need a change.. Mental health will always take priority in my book. Your mind controls your life so I must be strong enough for myself to put a stop to anything and anyone who brings me down. It ends here and it’s a hard goodbye to those I will lose in the process.

Living on Purpose

I am and have been in a weird mood this week. Angry for no reason it seems and trying to ensure I don’t take it out on anyone around me. Yet things have been going absolutely amazing for me. Me and Gabby have officially started our bounce house business, we got all our supplies and are getting the last few things in order before starting our bookings. I am comfortable riding Manny’s bike and crave it even. Father’s Day was great, seeing my sweet beautiful Maelyn on her 1st birthday was mesmerizing. Keeping in touch and creating new relationships with people who have me starstruck. Working half the amount of time I was at my corporate and making the same if not more money than before. Getting accepted to work in biker rallies, traveling, living!

Yet I still feel like I’m in a chokehold if I don’t give myself a release of emotions from the hard reality that I choose not to consume myself in daily. I don’t cry daily, but I ignore the urge frequently to the point where I just have to let it out in order to get better again. Queue the sad music, the heavily poured Bacardi and looking through old photos, reading old journal entries and remembering when I was whole again.

It sucks to think I will never feel whole again and I will carry this heartache around with me for a lifetime. But it feels so good to let it all out when I’m alone and can just, not care. I would give anything to hear my brother’s voice again, to see him smile again, to see him with his daughter, to friggin hug and squeeze him so tight!!!! To even just get a text back from him… The only way I can get by is to know that I am now living for him. If the roles were swapped I would want him to excel to the top, do everything that I couldn’t and be so much more, so that’s what I gotta do for him.

Don’t worry about me, don’t worry about my finances, don’t worry about my mental state, just know that I am living, every damn day for Manny. I am traveling and exploring new experiences and trying new things, taking risks and chances all for Manny. To do what he couldn’t, what he didn’t have the chance to do, because that is what I would want him to do if it were me that was gone.