2021 has brought in a new wave of fresh new blogs and I’m happy to be one of them! A lot has happened lately and writing has definitely been a positive outlet for me, so I am ecstatic to finally be getting on track of doing something that I truly love and doing something that brings me peace of mind.
The main reason I decided to start my blog was because writing has always been my passion. I could sit at my desk on my MacBook and just write for hours! Writing was always my favorite subject in school and during college & I always got A’s on all my essays because writing them came with ease. I was actually kind of disappointed that my schooling has come to an end after getting my Bachelor’s because writing was always my favorite portion of it. I thought I would lose my favorite outlet, but then I thought, why not start my own blog? That way I can write on whatever topics interest me and share my love for writing with my followers!
Another reason why I decided to start my blog was to gain that freedom from societal standards. I am tired of everyone thinking there is only one way to be deemed “successful” in this day and age. I did go to college and I have my Bachelor’s Degree, but guess what, I was not happy in my chosen profession, which is so common. I have been on the hunt for a new way to make money that is more in terms of the 21st century. More in line with being able to love what I do and still be able to have a life as well. I’m tired of work always coming first because life is short and I would hate to live my entire life working to be able to live. I want to live up to my life’s full potential and sitting behind a desk working towards someone else’s dreams was not it for me.
Lastly, I decided to start my blog because I’ve always felt that I was put here to make some sort of difference in this world. Whether that be affecting just one person’s life who reads my blog in some positive way, I would be beyond happy. I know that all my knowledge, my thoughts, my perspective, my mindset, is all meant to be shared with others in this world to help positively change lives. I have always believed in positivity as a lifestyle and I am determined to share that light and that energy with those who choose to be apart of my blogging experience. Blogging is just the start of how I plan to make an impact and it’s one I am very eager for and have put off for much too long.
I decided to write on this topic because I am currently experiencing it myself and what better point of view to read from then from someone who is currently undergoing it. Just a short back story on my situation to give you a glimpse of where I’m at.
Ending 2020 we thought was a blessing, we all laughed and kicked 2020 out and welcomed 2021 with joy, little did we know this would be the most difficult year to pass. January 24th, 2021 my oldest brother Manny of 25 years had passed in a tragic motorcycle accident. It was all so unexpected, the accident happened at 12:04 a.m. but we weren’t notified until after 2 a.m. and when all met at the hospital we soon realized that this really was his last moments with us. The doctors said there was nothing more they could do and the only reason his heart was still beating was because he was on life-support. That day still feels like it was only yesterday, I can still see him laying on the hospital bed, unrecognizable. The only thing that has been keeping any of us going and looking forward to the future is awaiting the arrival of his first child, a sweet babygirl due in June.
So now that you understand my situation a little more I can start speaking on my experience with grief. We all know there are the “5 stages of grief” listed as such:
Looking at these stages I’m not really sure which stage I personally identify with currently. I feel as if my entire world has shifted and what once was important to me, I no longer care for. My main focus is being there for my niece to make sure she knows how much she is loved.
January has dropped several bombs on me and my family. We all had covid for the first 3 weeks and had to quarantine and then the 4th week we lost my brother. It’s been one thing after another, then 2 weeks after his passing we spent getting all his things in order and making sure his service was something he would have loved. I was very proud and happy with how it turned out, I know he would’ve loved every part of it.
Now that all the busyness is gone I find myself left with a lack of motivation to get back to my daily responsibilities. I find myself feeling lost, not knowing what I want to do with my life, not knowing how to feel. For the first 2 weeks I would identify more with being in the denial stage. Now I feel like I’m in the mix of the anger and depression stages, I know now that there is no “one” stage or feeling, they are not gone through chronologically. I have been going up and down and back through each stage, each day is different.
My brother was a very strong minded individual who did not care what anyone else thought of him, he always spoke his mind and stood up for what he thought was right. He always put his family first and loved what he did and the biker group he was apart of. He was so excited for his first child and was already preparing to be a great father. Sometimes I feel like he’s going to walk in the door at any moment and that he’s just late to the party, like always, or he’s on the way or just in the other room. I hate thinking that I’ll never see him again. He’s been by my side my entire life, I never imagined a life without him here.
I’ve been reading a lot on grief and I can relate to many of the symptoms. I feel very disoriented and I have a hard time concentrating on things and focusing on what’s happening around me. I find myself spacing out and not really hearing what’s being said to me when I try to hold conversations with others. All I can say from my experience so far is that I have a long way to go. I’m grateful for all the memories I have and I know he would not want us to mourn for him, he would want us to celebrate him and be there for his daughter and his family.
So that’s what I’m focusing on. Staying positive and looking forward to meeting my niece. Everyone deals with grief differently and the time it lasts is different for every individual. I know I just have to take it one day at a time. I just want to remind others who are going through something similar that it’s completely normal to feel any emotions you are feeling during a time of grief, it’s important to realize that. Do not feel guilty for having a good day, because you deserve that and don’t let anyone tell you how you “should” be feeling, emotions are raging through you right now and it’s vital that they are expressed and not kept in. Lastly, make sure you have your person to talk through your ordeal with and make sure you find your healthy outlet to relieve your stress.
Please comment any advice you may have during a time of grief and loss, I am open to any positive outlets or personal stories of your own experiences.
We’ve all heard the term “self-love” before, but many of us don’t really know what it means. Some people think it’s just the hashtag used on social media, “Self-care Sundays”, where all you do is a facial and take a long bath to relax after a long stressful week. That can very well be one part of of self love, but that is not at all the full depiction of the true meaning of self love. So what is the true definition of self love and why is it important?? Let’s dive in!
What is Self Love?
Self love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. That is just a very generic definition but self love can mean something different for every person. If you are taking action to take care of your mind, your body and your soul, that is you protecting your well-being in life. That is you creating a better future for yourself by ensuring that you are healthy on the inside as well as the outside. Some people meditate, some people have weekly or daily reflections, some people take the initiative to consistently workout, read, journal. There are so many different aspects on the question of “what is self love”. The important thing is that you get all the definitions and define it yourself, create your own version of self love and practice it religiously.
Why Self love is so Important
Let’s start with my own personal version of self love. I like to wake up early every morning, workout, eat a healthy breakfast, listen to a podcast episode of my choice, read for 20 minutes minimum, journal and then meditate. I personally have a very vigorous self love routine and this is merely just my morning routine. But I consistently stick to this routine because I have noticed a difference in not only my personality, but my mindset and my health as well! I am very grateful to work for myself and to make my own hours so I do find it easier to make more time for my self love routine and being consistent with it.
Now…. Let’s talk excuses! I know very many people have to actually drive to work, or have children that get up early and they have to help them get ready for school and even if we are working from home, we find ourselves in the same struggle of “not having enough time”. Well, let me snap you out of that terrible habit right now and say the following. If you do not make time for yourself throughout the day, if you do not make it a priority to take 60, 30, 15 or even 10 minutes out of your day, every day, to reflect on what YOU want, to think about YOUR future and to remember what YOU are grateful for, then you will find yourself being stuck in the same endless cycles of life for years and years to come! When you neglect your own well-being to please those around you, you are really only putting a disservice on those people around you, because if you are not reaching your full potential, what makes you think those around you will? You must lead by example and put yourself first!
We all need some time to ourselves, we all have daily stressors and responsibilities, but it is those 1% of people who intentionally make time for themselves to focus on their well-being, that live a full and joyful life and are truly happy. They do not settle for the current circumstances that no longer serve them, they do not wait around for “luck” to change their situation, they do not wish they could do this and that and then make several excuses as to why it’s simply impossible for them to do something. It is NEVER impossible to do something, it is simply your mindset surrounding the thing itself. If you truly believe in the importance of self love and what it can do for your life, you will make time for it. For example, let’s replace the phrase “I don’t have the time for self love” with “I don’t see the value in working towards and accomplishing my dreams for my future”, that just makes you cringe a little bit! If you can read that and still feel fine then I cannot relate, honestly. I find it extremely scary of living the same day on repeat with no hope for my future. We were all put on this Earth for a reason, to express our passions and reach our full potential in life, we were not placed here to merely exist.
Self love is going to make all the difference in your life, when you find an amazing book and apply what you learn, it’s those little changes that will evolve into a huge and life changing difference! When you listen to those little podcast episodes every morning when you are showering or driving to work, it will leave you feeling more motivated, positive and ready to conquer the day. Wouldn’t it be nice to be in control of your life again? That is what self love is! Self love gives you the keys to your life, the power to turn pain into purpose and the power of responding in a constructive way to the hard times in life. Everything and everyone has a purpose in life and it is up to that person if they choose to reach their full potential or not. If they choose to put in the time and dedication to be the person they aspire to be. If they choose to use their talents and put it to good use!
So me and my business partner Gabby have actually made a resolution to get ourselves out there on our instagram platforms this year. So we are doing a Live series where we go Live once a week, on Wednesday’s at 6PM EST, in case you were wanting to tune in, answering the most commonly asked questions on the web! This week’s topic…. You guessed it!! RESOLUTIONS! So let’s dive into the good stuff!
Who Invented Resolutions?
According to the worldwide web, it was the Ancient Babylonians who are said to have been the first people to make New Year’s Resolutions, some 4,000 years ago! I found that to be quite interesting that resolutions have been around for such an extensive amount of time!
Why Resolutions Are Important!
Resolutions are important because it gives people something to look forward to and keep working towards. Making a resolution shows that you have the belief & the hope in your abilities to change damaging habits & become an overall better version of yourself!
Essentially it’s how things get done! Treating your resolution like a goal that needs to be accomplished. I’ve even read that resolutions are the language of the brain. In other words, the executive function of the brain, or a cluster of cognitive abilities, which has evolved enabling us to set & achieve goals. This brain function is what sets us apart from any other living creature! We don’t just live life on auto-pilot, we actually take action based on planning.
Setting resolutions actually helps provide clarity in one’s life. Providing us with a vision & and a plan for our future. They give us meaning, a higher purpose, a deeper reason for wanting to accomplish something. Not to mention they make us feel good. One of our most basic emotional reactions is happiness through pursuit. So the action of sticking to a goal until it is accomplished has its own sense of happiness attached to it. Lastly, goals and resolutions keep us connected. Connected to your inner desires, your friends, your family and even your community. Common goals are the foundational block on which we build communities!
Why Resolutions Fail?
First and foremost, we need to stop treating our resolutions like a sprint, when in reality, it is a marathon. The simplest of lessons is that slow & steady wins the race! Another reason why most people fail at committing to their resolutions is that they make too big of a resolution and have no real plan on how to accomplish it! Small changes stick better because they are not intimidating. So if you have a resolution that you want to accomplish by the end of the year, break it down to months, weeks, and then days. That way it will be small changes all working towards the ultimate end goal.
When you have a list of attainable goals and slowly start implementing them, you are more likely to succeed in accomplishing your resolution. I personally love getting a new habit tracker for each month to track the progress of my goals! Even the simple task of using a notebook and a pen will do the trick! All you need to do is record what you are doing each day to get you closer to your end goal and to keep track of your measurements in the process, that way you will have a visual of your progress and this will motivate you to keep going.
Another reason people fail at their resolutions is they don’t believe in themselves! A failure to act can cripple you before you even leave the starting line! Many of us don’t practice positive self-talk and it shows! You have to talk to yourself positively, always encouraging, fully believing in yourself and your abilities! What you believe becomes your reality! If you believe you will never slim down to your goal weight, not only are you sabotaging yourself, but you continue to put yourself down mentally, and then let yourself talk you out of doing what needs to be done to actually slim down! Your thoughts provoke your actions, so if you continuously tell yourself that you can’t, then the actions you take (or don’t take) will go along with your thought process. We must remember that our minds are always thinking and moving! It is either thinking positive thoughts to support you in your current goals, or going against you, there is no neutral, you must choose to think positive!
Another daunting reason of why most people tend to fail at their resolutions is they know their what, but not their why! In other words, they know what they want, but not why they want it. Your resolutions should be specific, vivid and time sensitive! All these only help to keep you motivated to keep going, because you know what you are working towards and why you are working towards it! Even when it gets hard, this “why” will keep you going and remind you of why you are sacrificing and working so hard every day! So it goes without saying, this should be emotional and deeply connected to you!
After going through the several reasons on why people don’t stick to their resolutions for the entirety of the year, these were just a few of the most common factors.
How Many Resolutions Should You Make?
Honestly, there is no real limit to how many resolutions you should or should not make in a given time span. Just as long as each one of them are attainable. In order to ensure that you need to make sure that you aren’t being vague when making them, and do not go into the resolution without a set plan of how it can be accomplished. Another tip when setting your resolutions for the year is to not overload yourself. Choose your plans and your goals according to what your main outcome is going to be. For example, if your main outcome at the end of the year is to lose weight, then make your resolutions in accordance with that main outcome! If your main outcome is to grow your business, then make small goals for how you’re going to do that and BE SPECIFIC!
In reality, anyone who puts their mind to it and actually puts in more than the minimal amount of effort is more than capable of accomplishing their resolutions. It’s all about mindset and making sure you set aside time for yourself this year! Don’t get swept away with the wind and only react to what is happening around you. Be the cause and effect in your life and take control!! Do not let yourself wake up this time next year to discover that you have made little to no progress on goals and resolutions that you claimed to be so important to you are your quality of life. Let’s make 2021 our year to get shit done!
Today I will be sharing my own personal experience of how setting daily positive affirmations changed my outlook on life. I know, I know, it sounds like a silly idea, writing things down and “speaking them into existence”, as I’ve heard the saying go, but the small act of writing something down and repeating them to yourself on a daily basis, makes all the difference.
In order for this to actually work the daily positive affirmations you choose will have to be written by, YOU! This probably won’t work as well if you take other people’s affirmations and just wrote them down. I mean, if they really do have a positive effect on you then yes, but make sure that the wording choice is something that makes them matter to you, you should make them your own. For instance, if the affirmation that you find is written in a very proper vernacular and you’re more of a casual, easy-going person, like myself, then I suggest rewording the affirmation to better suite your personal needs. The goal of setting these daily positive affirmations is to make sure that they matter to you enough to make them outline true qualities of yourself.
The number of affirmations you choose to write and read aloud is completely up to you. I personally only have a few and if I think of another encouraging affirmation later on, I’ll add it to my list. I believe I only have around ten, but there is nothing wrong with having more than ten. You could write 100 of them, as long as you know they are helping you. Although you should keep in mind that to ensure the validity of this exercise, you should be “speaking them into existence”, meaning to read them aloud at least once a day, hence the daily. I recommend that you keep the list short and to the point. Choose affirmations that appeal solely to you and your personal situations of life, you should choose affirmations that will help make a true difference in your life.
Now the time has come to actually write down your affirmations. However, there are many ways of doing so. I have a personal journal where I write down all my daily positive affirmations and I keep the journal on my nightstand next to my bed, that way every morning when I wake up I open up the journal and “speak into existence”‘ my daily affirmations. It doesn’t have to be a journal, it could be sticky notes that you put on your bathroom mirror or even on a chalkboard that you have or put them on your fridge, the possibilities are endless.
Some people aren’t pen and paper people, if you have an app that you can write them down on and have them alert you every morning (or whatever time of day you desire) and reading them aloud, this will work as well. I also have one of my daily affirmations written as my password for my corporate computer. I have found this to be an inspiring task as well. I’m not sure if it is just me, but I always read (in my head) the password as I am typing it. That way every day when I go into work I am reminded of this affirmation when logging in and out of my computer. Generally the computer requires a new, never used, password every 30 days, so you can always have a new and inspiring affirmation set as your password every month. Of course I recommend that you don’t just write the password in plain format, add some exclamations and numbers to actually make the password a secure one.
Another tip would be to write the affirmations in first person: “I will…”, “I am…” etc. You should be speaking to yourself and lifting yourself up! Who ever said you can’t give compliments to yourself? I for one love this idea and this is how I have chosen to write my own affirmations.
The final step, yes, just four easy steps and you’re done! Now you just have to stick to the practice of reading these affirmations out load on the daily! It is so important that you read them aloud, the more you hear it, the more they have the positive effect on your life. I recommend reading them in the morning, because there is no better way to start your day! But if you’re a night owl or maybe you want to read them on your lunch break, that is fine, as long as they are getting read aloud at some point throughout your day. Make sure not to skip out of reading them aloud if you wake up and you’re in a particularly bad mood, this would be the day that you should read them more than once! Don’t let the dark days gets you down, this is what these affirmations are hear to change, these are supposed to be positive and uplifting, so why not read them more when you’re having a bad day.
The most important thing on your bad days is not to instill the negative thoughts that you may have raging through your head. There is no point in filling your mind with negative thoughts about yourself, this is the time to take out your written positive affirmations and reinforce them to yourself.
Are you tired of feeling like you have no money? Feel like you’re living paycheck to paycheck or just have debt building up. Today I want to show you how far organizing your money will take you.
I’ve been in the “living paycheck – to – paycheck” situation and it was not fun. Probably one of the worst portions of my life. I was stuck in a dark apartment that I hated and because of it I never had any money, therefore forcing me to stay inside the one place I hated the most. I know that your total income has a lot to do with being able to afford your desired lifestyle. But it also has to do with ensuring you have enough money for the necessary things in life while also making sure that you still have some spending money for the fun things in life.
Step 1: Firstly, you need to determine your total net income per paycheck, most people generally get paid bi-weekly, every two weeks. Please do not include bonus checks that you may receive from time to time and do not include your paycheck amount with overtime payed. You want to know what your basic steady income is for each paycheck and each month. This is the money that you can fully depend on 100% of the time just by going to work everyday.
Next, you need to determine the necessities of your life, how much they cost as well as when they are due each month. Necessities should include but are not limited to the following:
Utilities (water and electric)
Paying off any small debt – in payments (credit card balance, etc.)
Children expenses – I don’t have any yet so I’m not sure what this entails …
Yes this seems like a lot but the more you place on your budget and are prepared for the less stressed you will be and the more planning of fun activities with your spare money.
Step 3: Now list down how much each necessity is per month. For unstable items that can change on a monthly basis, such as utilities, I would list the average payment that you have had over the course of a couple of months and then add ten or twenty dollars to the budget just to be in the clear. If one month the unstable item is less than expected then that money can be put towards your spending account, otherwise known as a little bonus for yourself. If you budgeted the correct amount then cheers to you, you’re in the clear.
Once you have everything added to the necessities list and totaled up, all you have to do now is divide that by two, for bi-weekly, therefore calculating how much you need each paycheck to go towards your bills. Once you now the total amount of bills and then subtract it with the total net income of your paycheck, what’s left is your total amount of spending money you will have each paycheck.
All you need to do now is make sure that you stick to this budget and you will be in the clear and always in control of your own money. Life is always easier when you have your money handled and most importantly when you lose the stress of wondering if your bills will get paid. Leave the stress behind and start your budget today!
Strength is increased when doing yoga by providing the body with a greater range of motion through flexibility.
2. Yoga Decreases Anxiety & Stress
When your mind is transferred to the focus of your deep breathing that goes along with doing yoga, this can help to decrease the anxiety and stress of the day and help you to release any physical tension along with the anxiety and stress. The deep breathing in yoga helps to reduce your heart rate, lowering your blood pressure and easing respiration.
3. Yoga Increases Happiness
Yoga helps to increases happiness and positivity through the act of improving your mental wellbeing. In other words when you do yoga, you’re not only exercising your physical being but your mental being as well. All parts of the brain are stimulated when doing yoga. Visit, your brain on yoga for a detailed explanation on how the brain is used during yoga.
4. Yoga Alleviates Pain
Yoga helps to alleviate tension in your body and certain poses aid in alleviating pain in certain parts of the body, this is performed in a slow and gentle way that will help prevent future injury, a simple stretch of the body parts that experience higher amounts of pain will help towards relieving stress and help you towards feeling happy and positive. Yoga is also great for those with back pain and great for taking care of your spine as well. Yoga practices the use of good posture, positioning and balance through the use of your core. Through the focus of balance and good posture, yoga helps to relieve back pain and aids in keeping the spine healthy and aligned. It is always great to do yoga if you have a desk job where you are sitting for long periods of time, or if you have a job that has you on your feet all the time. Basically it is essential for everyone
5. Yoga Helps With Weight Loss
Yoga, any type of yoga, aids in the weight loss process, not only weight loss but the strengthening of your body and reduces cellulite in the process. Yoga is a great way to get rid of the waste in your body and helps to tone your muscles through the training of using your core for balance. If yoga is performed between 3-5 days a week, the body is better taken care of through the lubrication of the joints and the active stretching of the muscles which leads to a healthier life.
The benefits of yoga are endless, I personally love starting my day by doing yoga everyday, it is a great way to wake up. Performing stretches in the morning leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to start my day. I love feeling more in tune with my body and I always finish feeling like I can conquer my day. Ever since I discovered the benefits of yoga and experiencing the benefits first hand, it has changed the way I see exercise. I used to hate thinking about going to the gym, but now I love rolling out my mat in the morning, lighting a candle and focusing on my breathing while stretching my body and mentally preparing for the day. I hope you will start to show your body some love by starting yoga.
If you’re like most people, you’re ready to make this year THE year! This is the year that everything you’ve ever dreamed of will finally happen for you. I myself have a big year ahead of me, but what are your actual goals for the year? How are you going to go about successfully accomplishing these goals? As the saying goes, a goal without a plan is just a wish.
Today I am going to show you a few things on how to set goals, goals that will last and goals that will lead you to success and leave you feeling accomplished.
There are 6 categories that you should break your goals down into: 1. Financial
You should aspire to have goals within each category, these categories can help define your wellness plan for yourself. Financial goals are important to have in your life. In this day and age if you don’t have control over your financial situation then it will probably be fairly hard to lead the successful life that you may have envisioned for yourself. A good financial goal would be to start a budget and stick to it. Pay off any debt you may have and start a savings plan for yourself. I listen to the Dave Ramsey podcast which has really helped to me to take large steps in accomplishing my financial goals, I recommend tuning in to his podcast so you can have the financial freedom you’ve dreamed of.
Intellectual goals are important to create and keep up with. These goals should entail things that will go towards enlightening your mind. Consider the goal of reading more, listening to an educational podcast, or maybe just improving your study habits in school.
Setting goals with your family helps with your overall wellness. Setting a goal to spend more quality time with your family or perhaps setting up a weekly family game night. A vital part to finding happiness in life is maintaining a good relationship with your family, live a life with no regrets of not setting a special time aside for family, besides just the obligated time during the holidays. Social goals go hand in hand with family, the same idea basically. Setting more time aside to be with your friends, or perhaps taking a leap of faith and trying to be more sociable and friendly within your work place.
Spiritual goals, such as setting a goal to set aside time to pray more. Or maybe a goal of getting back into the habit of going to church on Sundays. In this generation, going to church has slowly become less and less of a habit. Maybe you want to change this habit of falling out of the circle of worship, well, set your goal and start working on it. Being on good terms with God can help a person find happiness within themselves. You don’t have to go to church to get back in the worshiping spirit, maybe you listen in to religious podcasts, set some time aside to read The Bible.
Physical goals, the most common goal that most of the population strives for success in. I can’t tell you how many times I hear the new year’s resolution of working out more, getting back to the gym. Most of the time those people will only keep this promise to themselves for an average of two weeks. Don’t neglect yourself by not committing, it’s time to show yourself that you care, stop letting yourself down and stick to your physical goal that you have set for yourself.
Lastly, career goals, the goals that will help you attain your dreams of success and travel. I for one have a lot of goals set for my career. You should ensure that every year at your job is a year not wasted. Set goals to have certain tasks or certifications completed that will help you grow within your career. Make sure that you are not stuck in a dead end job with no chance of improvement, you should strive to grow and accomplish the most in your career to help achieve your well-deserved dreams of seeing the world, building your dream home or starting a family knowing that you have the stability and dependability of your well-accomplished career to support you.
Precise and Written
Setting goals for yourself is an important matter, without goals, what is the meaning of life? Why are we all here? Goals are what set apart the people who want to make a difference in life and those who do make a difference in life. When creating goals you want to make sure that they are precise and measurable. If you state you want to lose weight as your goal, you should ask yourself: How much weight? How are you going to accomplish this weight loss? When do you want the weight to be off by? These are vital questions to setting your goals, if your goals are not precise and measurable, it would be so easy to just forget about them completely. Another important part of making your goals is to WRITE THEM DOWN! It’s easy to forget something that is not written down, it is easy to ignore something when you aren’t bothered by seeing it daily. When you write your goals down it becomes something physically tangible, something that you can use to remind yourself why you should be pushing yourself a little more everyday. It’s time to set up a plan for what you want in life and create a vision of yourself and who you strive to be. When your goal has been accomplished, you will have the satisfaction of marking it off of your list, another goal in the bag, accomplished and conquered. Leaving you with no regrets and helping you to live a more positive and successful life.