GETTING OUT OF YOUR ROUTINE

A lot of us find comfort in our routines, our daily rituals and our regular ways of doing things. While routines can be extremely useful in life and help you to really accomplish more, it’s important that we learn to break them every once and again. Now, when I say to break your routine, I don’t mean break your diet routine or your workout routine to do the exact opposite and ruin all your hard work. I’m leaning more towards a positive outlet of rigidness.

For example, it can get very boring doing the same exact thing every single day for months on end. Before you even realize you could have lived the same exact day for so long and then BLINK, 2 years have passed by. I think we all should take part in being a little more spontaneous in life and with our routines. Instead of coming home from work every night, making dinner and watching the same Netflix show that you’ve been binge watching, why don’t you call up a friend and invite them over for drinks. Go to the movies on a Wednesday night and watch that one chick-flick you’ve been dying to see. Go get a massage after a long day or just go out for a drink somewhere and make it a point to talk to someone. Call up all your besties and schedule a fun girls’ trip for one weekend, or even decide to just chill at the beach and watch the sunset one night.

So, when I say to “get out of your routine” I am not suggesting drastic changes, just small little things that make each day feel different and gives you the opportunity to meet new people or build stronger relationships in the process. We could all use a little change of scenery because I for one go mad if I find myself living the same exact day on repeat. It makes life feel boring and life should be an adventure because we only have 1 life so why waste it on doing the same thing everyday!

So today, I challenge you to do one out of routine thing this week and then evaluate how it made you feel and maybe consider doing it more often. I think we will all find ourselves going a little less mad and find a little more happiness.

SETTING A POSITIVE CLIMATE

This is something that may seem very simple and easy but it can actually be quite difficult and trying at times. The main point of setting a positive climate for anywhere or anyone you interact with is to be open to positive energy flowing and returning back to you. If we walk into a room or get into an argument with a negative climate surrounding us, nothing but negativity is going to return to you.

Setting a positive climate can be as simple as hearing the other person out, simply listening to their side of the story instead of barking at them and cutting them off. You never want to go into anything assuming the worst, we all must assume the best in order to set the positive climate. Another thing, we must not start our day “on the wrong side of the bed”. Yes we could have woken up grouchy but we should take a minute and re-evaluate all the things we are grateful for in this life and in this day and then reset our moods, or at least try our best to do so. Being positive may come naturally to some people but for most it does take a lot of effort, forgiveness and a lot of conscious decision making.

Imagine you are on the way to work and some ass on the street cuts you off and then has the audacity to brake check you! Of course this would make anyone mad and make us want to curse perhaps and honk on the horn. A lot of people then carry that road rage anger into their work space and walk into the room with furrowed brows and an attitude. Cutting people short on their greetings and slamming doors. You may even find any way to continue this unpleasant mood by listing every reason on why you wish to be elsewhere, why this job sucks and so on and so on. Not only have you let this stranger affect your mood but your letting your mood disrupt the happiness of everyone around you.

Instead of letting a complete stranger ruin your entire day, how about we just get angry for the one second that the incident occurred. You cursing and honking your horn honestly won’t make you feel much better and you spending the rest of your day in a frantic rage is helping absolutely no one. So why do we do this? Why do we let complete strangers, who we will never encounter again, take control of OUR day? This is where the conscious decision making comes into play. We must consciously decide to let it go, because perhaps he had to be somewhere and was in a rush, perhaps he didn’t realize he had brake checked you and cut you off. We must learn to see things from a different perspective and we must learn to let things go and to not let our negativity affect those around us, especially when the ones around you have nothing to do with the incident.

Setting a positive climate is like having a clean slate. Once you can rationalize why a person behaved the way they did by putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their point of view, we can then consciously decide to forgive and let it go. We can then decide to have a fresh start in the next moment by setting a positive climate for yourself and for others who are around you. By setting yourself back on the track to positivity you are then welcoming more positivity back into your life, and you will be surprised at how great your day may end up being.

EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION

With every action there is a reaction. Depending on how big or serious the reaction was will vary on how big or serious the action may have been. These are the basic things that we were taught in grade school! But this does not have to be the case for our actual daily lives. So many people feel that the world is just “happening” to them, which is true to an extent. Yes we cannot control what the world or the Universe throws at us, all we can control is how we choose to react or respond to the situations we find ourselves in.

When you find yourself being at the mercy of the Universe ask yourself this one question, “Will this matter in a year from now?”, ask yourself this BEFORE you react! Sometimes we can make the situation ten times worse just by how we choose to respond. We let our primal instincts kick in and turn into this raging, furious monster which breaks and destroys everything in its path, in other words, only making things worse. But if you took the time to stop and ask yourself this one simple question, we can then take control of the situation by choosing how to react.

At the end of the day, the only control you have in your life IS how you choose to respond to anything thrown at you! It’s a small but powerful control mechanism. You can either receive the terrible news and just let yourself go into a downward spiral, throwing yourself a pity party and letting everything you’ve worked so hard far turn to crap. OR you can choose to look at the bright side, find the silver lining and turn the situation into something positive!

For instance, a lot of people were let go during Covid. Instead of reacting negatively, throwing a pity party and worrying about everything that you have lost, we can turn it around and see it as a blessing in disguise. We now get to spend more time with our families at home, we can go outside and enjoy the fresh air a little more. We can finish some of the home projects we’ve been neglecting and in the mean time we can search for new opportunities of work, maybe ones that we’ve been holding back on because of the timing, and maybe ones that we’ve been wanting to pursue for a long time.

There is always a bright side to every single situation thrown at us and we can always find the silver lining. It’s up to us to change the way we think and to take control of our ONE control mechanism we have, HOW WE RESPOND. Do not explode over something that you won’t even remember in a year, it’s a pure waste of energy and it won’t get you far. We must choose to live in the present and handle all situations given to us with grace, patience and positivity. Just because you had a bad day, does not mean you have a bad life, you will make it through this and you will realize just how much control you have by choosing to respond gracefully.

STOP LIVING IN AN IMAGINED FUTURE

Have you ever pictured out how your future will look like? Pictured your whole life and how it would play out, how many kids you’d have, who’d you marry, where’d you live and what kind of job you’d be doing? It’s honestly quite normal to do this and I myself do this a lot. But it’s important that we don’t use these imagined futures as the firm blueprints of our lives.

Life changes on the daily, circumstances change, people walk in and walk out of your life and nothing is really foreseen. So it’s vital that we learn to grow with the flow. Odds are, our perfectly imagined futures will not play out the way we want them too so I think we should spend a little less time planning out every little detail of what you want and a little more time on just living our lives.

A healthier version of imagining your future would be to determine what it is you want out of life and then taking small steps that will get you towards your ultimate end goal. Don’t obsess over the small details because those can and will change with time. Focus on the one end goal and make sure you are slowly working towards that and in turn you will be working towards your future.

So many people have these exact plans of what they want to happen and when they want them to occur but sometimes the things we want are completely out of our control. The people in our lives are their own people and cannot be controlled by your plan. So it’s unreasonable to live your life on that type of tight schedule. As long as you know you’re working towards the future you want, the rest will fall into place when the time is right. It may not be the time you had planned or wanted, which is fine, but you can only control what you do and that’s that.

So loosen the reigns a little and just learn to live in the now. Stop focusing on your imagined future and focus on what you can control (yourself). As long as we have some type of vision that we are working towards and we make sure that we are taking the necessary steps required of us, then we will obtain the end goal.

THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU BACK IS FEAR

Today’s topic: Fear. Throughout our journeys in life we tend to discover what we like and what we don’t like, things we like to do and things we tend to avoid. But have you ever wondered what your life could be like if you ventured outside of your comfort zone, just a smidge, to discover something completely new and exciting and even liberating!

Most of us have an extremely difficult time getting out of our comfort zones because it is getting you to do something you either haven’t done before and is totally new to you or it’s opening you up to new experiences that you feel you may not be prepared for. We must remember that we are all born the same, we are all brought into this world with no prejudgments, with no bias or opinions and no fears! It’s not until we start to grow that we begin developing said fears. Some may be irrational and others may be brought about due to traumatic experiences but in life we are put on a roller coaster. Things are thrown at us from all sides and we must learn to deal and to heal with these things. The only real thing that is holding us back is fear.

We must learn to let go and move on. Can you imagine living a life where nothing changes for several years? All because you were scared to put yourself out there, scared to let go, scared to move on. We cannot and must not live our lives in fear because in the end does that really qualify as living? Those who live with no fear are the ones who get to experience the full beauty of life and can really say that they’ve lived. But for the ones frozen in fear, too scared to take a step forward or even a step backwards, those are the ones who stay stagnant in time. If you are stuck in one spot, you are literally just watching life fly by you.

So, today’s topic was fear, we need to stop letting fear hold us back and start living, like TRULY LIVING! I know that when my time comes, I will have no regrets because I chose to live my life exactly how I wanted to. No one wants to be the person who is old and gray and bitter because they wish they could go back in time to actually live their life.

LEARN TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT

This topic can be interpreted in many different ways, today I will discuss the importance of living in the present when it comes to losing someone.

Since the passing of my oldest brother I’ve found it to be extremely difficult to focus on the present. I constantly find myself reminiscing of the “good ole days” and wishing I could be back there. Sometimes I get so caught up in the memories that I end up making myself upset. This is where the advice of learning to live in the present comes into play. It’s a very hard subject to take your mind off of, but I tell myself daily to focus on the present and to focus on the future. The past is gone and there is nothing more I can do to change the hard truth that he is gone. If there is anything I could do I would have done it by now, no question.

The key word out of all of this is “Learn”, as it is a learning process. To learn and to figure out how to continue living in my present life without my brother because it feels so irregular to have to do something as easy as living. When I remind myself to stop thinking of the negative and to focus on living in the present and for what has yet to come, I can pick myself back up and keep it moving.

I have to focus on being a better person in this world, I have to focus on being there for my family and being there for his daughter when she arrives in June. I have to focus on strengthening myself so that when his daughter is here I can tell her all the stories that me and her daddy share together and to make sure that his memory will continue to live on through me and his family.

So, even though learning to live in the present is an extremely hard topic, it is necessary. I can’t keep my thoughts secluded to the past, I have to keep moving forward for him and I have to be prepared for the blessing that is on the way. We all need to learn to live in the present because living in the past will only bring us heartache. Of course it’s healthy to remember the good times and all the laughs and smiles but when it gets to the point that you find yourself getting severely depressed by the thoughts, then you need to remind yourself to live in the present!

NO MORE BROADCASTING YOUR THOUGHTS

For some reason a lot of people find it appropriate to broadcast their every thought on their social media for all to see. I’m sorry if you feel that you may be one of those people but here’s a few reasons as to why you may want to second-guess doing this in the future.

When you broadcast your every thought with no type of filter, it may come back to bite you. Imagine if you’re having an exceptionally bad day and you just pick up your phone and type the first thought that comes to mind and post it onto your social media. This thought was an instant reaction to your surroundings, it may be unfiltered and it may be directed towards another person or group and even offend some of your social media friends. As a result you begin to receive negative comments on your post and arguments breaking out, which is only going to lead to more negativity.

It’s vital that when we are in some type of negative mood that we stop to think first before we do. We stop to think FIRST before we speak! Always stop FIRST and THINK. Ask yourself, will this help solve my problem? Will this bring about positive energy? Will this change anything? When you ask yourself these simple questions, you may rethink posting your first thought that comes to mind for all to see.

Another reason why it’s not the best idea to broadcast your every thought, is that you may feel heated in the moment but once you cool off you will probably feel differently. But it won’t matter, because you already posted your first irrational thought/emotion onto the internet for all to see. You can take it down but several of your friends could have already seen and even screenshotted your post. Now you’re just left with the shame of having posted it in the first place.

Lastly, most of the time when an irrational post is made it generally has to do with some sort of personal drama. I’m not sure why people feel the need to share their personal drama with the internet, I’ve never really understood that. But when you let people peak into the windows of your life you’re opening yourself up to toxic energy. People on the outside who don’t need to be involved in your personal life now have this irrational post to justify their opinions on not only you but your family as well. Don’t give people any type of reason to judge you or your life decisions based on a spur of the moment thought/emotion that you never should have posted in the first place. It only opens you up to more drama which leads to more negativity.

So, next time you are in a heated moment, STOP and THINK before you post! Stop broadcasting your every thought on social media/internet and close the door to negativity. When you use your social media for good and only post what you want the world to know (the good stuff) then you will discover a new way to put an end to drama and negativity and open yourself up to new and better things! The only control we have in this life is how we react to our surroundings, so make sure you stay in control.

LEAVE SOME “WHITE SPACE” ON YOUR TO DO LISTS

I for one always love to fill up my entire to-do lists and then I began to feel crazed as I start to make my way down them. I’ve realized that I shouldn’t be overloading myself with tasks that don’t all have to be done in the same day! I’ve started making my lists for the week, rather than for the day and that has helped a lot .

It’s vital that we leave some time for ourselves to relax and regenerate. We don’t need to complete absolutely everything on our to-do lists each day so it’s important that we leave some white space on them. It’s almost impossible to always get everything done when you never leave time for yourself in the process, you will start to feel stressed, high-strung and tense because you never give yourself a break!

So spread out those to do lists, prioritize them: most important first to least important last. Spread them out to a week instead of just a day and always leave some free time or white space to relax and give yourself a break! You’ll find yourself feeling more accomplished and not so stressed which in turn is the more positive outcome for everyone involved.

YOUR DAILY PRESCRIPTION OF POSITIVITY: STOP WISHING TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Have you ever found yourself constantly wishing you were anywhere else but where you actually are? I know that may be a dumb question for some people but it’s a very real issue. We need to focus on where we are in that moment and stop daydreaming on how our lives can be better if we weren’t exactly where we are at that very moment.

Now this can be taken both mentally and literally. Mentally wishing to be somewhere else, perhaps in life. Wishing that you would have accomplished more by this point, wishing you already had your degree, wishing that you are already in the marriage and baby age in life, the list is never ending. Then there are the literal situations. Wishing you were at the beach instead of at your desk. Wishing you were at your favorite human’s house hanging with them or even wishing you were in your dream state living it up.

Regardless if you are wishing to be somewhere else mentally or literally, this habit can become severely toxic. It makes us not appreciate the moment we are in and leaves always longing to be somewhere else that we think will make us happier. In reality, we could be exactly where we are wishing to be and even in that moment we catch ourselves still wishing to be somewhere else. It’s an endless cycle. We can’t rush through things or cheat the system in life. We all have to work for a living and we all have to put in effort to finish the things we started, even though it may be difficult at times, it’s apart of life.

So, stop wishing you were somewhere else. Appreciate the moment you are in, RIGHT NOW, because you will never have that moment again. Appreciate the people you are surrounded by because you can never recreate those exact great memories, no matter how hard you try, it will never be the same. Appreciate where you are both mentally and physically because we are all exactly where we are supposed to be in this given moment.

YOUR DAILY PRESCRIPTION OF POSITIVITY: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

A topic I love to discuss. We all need to find peace in minding our own business! Pretty much another piece on stopping the gossip. I know for me as a woman it’s hard to avoid ALL gossip period. There’s always something happening that I find myself having an opinion on, it’s human nature. It’s when it gets to the point of it making you angry that you know you’ve gone toxic.

When something doesn’t concern you in any shape or form yet you find yourself having several harsh opinions on the matter, maybe you should question yourself and your morals for a hot minute. When you find yourself in this predicament, some good questions to stop and ask yourself are:

  1. How would I feel if I found out my personal business was being spread like a wildfire?
  2. How would I feel if I were in that specific situation?
  3. How would I react if I were in that specific situation?
  4. How does me voicing my opinion help the situation?
  5. Am I the person involved?

These questions can really make you think and can be applied to all situations of “Minding Your Own Business”. If you don’t have any valid answers to those questions then maybe you should just mind your own business and keep it moving. Plus if the topic at hand makes you angry because it may just get under your skin, that would be another reason to keep it moving and mind your own business.

Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems and focus more on you and what you’re doing. The time you spend worrying about what other people are doing can be better spent on things that you should be doing. Maybe you have to write an essay for school, finish a report for work or maybe you have to workout, but instead you are focusing on what someone else is doing. If we can learn focus on ourselves more often imagine how much more in life we could accomplish! So, let’s learn to all mind our own business because it adds absolutely no value to your life, if anything it decreases it.