I am so thankful that I have somewhere to go and someone to distract me and help me to forget all the pain and drama and senseless bullsh!t that goes on in my life. I got a chance to not think about my feelings, my life issues, the drama, and it was all so peaceful. So peaceful to just remember, even if temporarily, what it’s like to not have to deal with it all. To not have to walk on eggshells or feel guilt or shame for not wanting to put up with that anymore.
I really want to find my way through this because I know it truly is holding me back severely. I know now, more than ever, that I do want to move out of this city, I’m not sure where yet, but I know I don’t want to stay here forever. But I just don’t want to move and feel like I’m running. Running away from people and problems. I want this all handled and sorted away, at least for me and my mind so I can move for the simple fact of wanting to live somewhere new. A new place to be freely me & independent because I know I will thrive. I know I’m not meant to be in this city forever!
I am determined to flip this script and come out on top with a victory, to be the hero in my own story. I’m done letting the opinions and perceptions of others define my thoughts, my feelings, my self-worth and me! I define who I am, the only perceptions that matter are my own, the only feelings I’m worried about are my own! I’m done with the people pleasing and worrying about how what I do may or may not affect others and their feelings. I will not cause any drama in regards to my separation. I will simply choose to fade away in the background, unnoticed and unbothered. Unbothered by anything that is not me because 2022 is my year and I deserve that sh!t.
Since I’ve been on hiatus, I felt it necessary to give you all a little update on what’s been happening in my life before fully diving back into the blogging world.
Last you all heard I was on my way to becoming a teacher, that is no longer the case anymore. Unfortunately I did not qualify to get my Certificate of Eligibility and I’m sorry but, I have no interest in returning to school, that chapter is closed permanently. So on to the next adventure! I am now working for a home mortgage company as a Loan Processor with one of my cousins! It seems to be the perfect fit for me, it gives me so much freedom to still have a life and be involved with my family and I actually love learning about all the processes and the industry itself. I told myself I would stick with this industry for the long run because I am extra tired of the job hunting. But the good thing about this job is that I love it and I can make this into a great career for myself and it still lets me appreciate my inner values of being with my family while still working towards my future goals !
As you all know, I lost my brother back in January. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, with its fair share of ups and downs. At first the family was all united but somewhere deep down I knew that wouldn’t last long. Some members have gone their separate ways, others I just needed to separate myself from the negativity for a while in order to help myself properly heal. I don’t think it’s selfish to make yourself the priority in your own life, especially when it comes to dealing with the grief of a close immediate family member. All I can do now is pray for them and love them from afar.
I’ve been on my own path, surrounding myself with like-minded people. Focusing on my goals and making sure that I appreciate every moment given to me. I make sure I’m extremely involved in my family and that I am creating memories with each and every person. Because honestly, the only thing that’s left behind when you’re gone, the memories you’ve shared and the love that was given.
My Current State of Mind
I’ve just been focusing on the here and now. I think of my brother literally all the time and I make sure I do my best to keep his memory alive. I’m making a scrapbook of him that’s very in detail of all our memories that we shared together. I spend pretty much all of my time with Maelyn and make sure she and Madison know they are loved and supported. I live life as if it were my last day, I have more sleepovers with my friends/family. I go to watch the sunrise at least once a month, I plan spontaneous trips to travel and to experience new things and I always tell my people that I love them. I also started CrossFit because I’m tired of waiting “to start tomorrow”, I want to be happy with myself both physically and mentally and it has been a great experience so far and I feel so much stronger and happier with myself.
Manny has truly taught me the meaning of “life is too short”, you hear it all the time and still believe that you are the exception. But no one is safe from time, it keeps going even when you don’t. So I try my best to enjoy all the little things and all the people who support and love me, the people that create my own personal safe haven from all the drama and distress in today’s world. I always do what I think is right in my heart and I always do what’s best for my mental health and well-being in the end. My motives are always aiming towards a more positive life, no drama just love and peace. I’m exactly the person I believe myself to be and I will keep being that person.
My Plans and The Blog
So my current plans for my future, which change often, are as follows. I plan to grow within my company and become a Loan Officer, something that’s already been in the works training wise and I’m so lucky to be in a company that believes in me and wants to see my succeed. I plan to continue being extremely involved with all my family members and I plan to continue furthering my knowledge by reading books and going to church and just experiencing things in life and truly living, not just letting time pass. I plan to keep going strong and make the vision that I have for myself and my family a reality. Whatever it takes.
This post is my official reactivation of the blog. I plan to only post weekly, because daily ended up feeling like a chore. Although the main focus of my blog is positivity I plan to incorporate more of my life and personal experiences into it, in hopes that I can make it more personable and relatable. I plan to stay consistent now that I am better adjusted to my new life and the new family additions and losses and I hope I can make a difference in someone’s life by speaking from the heart always.
What is a vision board and why should you have one?
A vision board is something that you can use to pin up all your wants and desires that your little heart can think up! It’s something to remind you of what you are working towards or what you’re grateful of. It’s a physical/digital reminder that has the purpose of motivating you, even on the hardest of days.
A vision board is meant to be inspiring, so don’t put any negative connotations on there. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you wouldn’t want to “motivate” yourself by putting the worst picture of yourself up there. You would want to post a picture of yourself when you feel you were your most healthiest and if you don’t have one, go through some magazines and find someone with similar features and the goal body you want and use that one. This can be applied to all aspects of whatever you post onto your vision board. The goal is to uplift and build up your confidence, not to tear yourself down or be reminded of any failures.
Another quick tip before you get to work. A vision board is not limited by fears or what ifs or the word “impossible”. A vision board is to put any single thing that you desire and know you can get if you just worked hard enough. So don’t dull it down by your “reality” of things, because anything can be accomplished if you work for it. If you change the way you think, it will change your beliefs and in turn, it will change your reality.
So let all your heart’s desires come out with your vision board and start manifesting everything you want in your life!
How to make your own vision board!
So now let’s get into the good stuff! How to make your own vision board!
Determine the main goal or goals that you are creating your vision board for.
Find magazines, clip art, specific images from the internet or Pinterest that you can contribute to your vision board that goes towards your end goal.
The tedious task of actually cutting out said images.
I’ve found that making the vision board in collage form is more beneficial than square cut pictures, yes it takes more time on the cutting but it will totally be worth it!
Start arranging your pictures on your board and get a feel for how you want the layout to be like.
Take a quick picture of how your board looks like once you’ve added all your images so you have something to reference if they move out of place.
Now, find a glue stick, some double-sided tape or even some Mod Podge glue and start sticking them down! Stick them down with some purpose! You don’t want anything falling off!
BONUS: I like to throw some glitter on top of mine as the finishing touch
Now hang that bad boy up where you will see it EVERY. DAMN. DAY! To remind yourself of what you’re working for and to keep you motivated and inspired!
So me and my business partner Gabby have actually made a resolution to get ourselves out there on our instagram platforms this year. So we are doing a Live series where we go Live once a week, on Wednesday’s at 6PM EST, in case you were wanting to tune in, answering the most commonly asked questions on the web! This week’s topic…. You guessed it!! RESOLUTIONS! So let’s dive into the good stuff!
Who Invented Resolutions?
According to the worldwide web, it was the Ancient Babylonians who are said to have been the first people to make New Year’s Resolutions, some 4,000 years ago! I found that to be quite interesting that resolutions have been around for such an extensive amount of time!
Why Resolutions Are Important!
Resolutions are important because it gives people something to look forward to and keep working towards. Making a resolution shows that you have the belief & the hope in your abilities to change damaging habits & become an overall better version of yourself!
Essentially it’s how things get done! Treating your resolution like a goal that needs to be accomplished. I’ve even read that resolutions are the language of the brain. In other words, the executive function of the brain, or a cluster of cognitive abilities, which has evolved enabling us to set & achieve goals. This brain function is what sets us apart from any other living creature! We don’t just live life on auto-pilot, we actually take action based on planning.
Setting resolutions actually helps provide clarity in one’s life. Providing us with a vision & and a plan for our future. They give us meaning, a higher purpose, a deeper reason for wanting to accomplish something. Not to mention they make us feel good. One of our most basic emotional reactions is happiness through pursuit. So the action of sticking to a goal until it is accomplished has its own sense of happiness attached to it. Lastly, goals and resolutions keep us connected. Connected to your inner desires, your friends, your family and even your community. Common goals are the foundational block on which we build communities!
Why Resolutions Fail?
First and foremost, we need to stop treating our resolutions like a sprint, when in reality, it is a marathon. The simplest of lessons is that slow & steady wins the race! Another reason why most people fail at committing to their resolutions is that they make too big of a resolution and have no real plan on how to accomplish it! Small changes stick better because they are not intimidating. So if you have a resolution that you want to accomplish by the end of the year, break it down to months, weeks, and then days. That way it will be small changes all working towards the ultimate end goal.
When you have a list of attainable goals and slowly start implementing them, you are more likely to succeed in accomplishing your resolution. I personally love getting a new habit tracker for each month to track the progress of my goals! Even the simple task of using a notebook and a pen will do the trick! All you need to do is record what you are doing each day to get you closer to your end goal and to keep track of your measurements in the process, that way you will have a visual of your progress and this will motivate you to keep going.
Another reason people fail at their resolutions is they don’t believe in themselves! A failure to act can cripple you before you even leave the starting line! Many of us don’t practice positive self-talk and it shows! You have to talk to yourself positively, always encouraging, fully believing in yourself and your abilities! What you believe becomes your reality! If you believe you will never slim down to your goal weight, not only are you sabotaging yourself, but you continue to put yourself down mentally, and then let yourself talk you out of doing what needs to be done to actually slim down! Your thoughts provoke your actions, so if you continuously tell yourself that you can’t, then the actions you take (or don’t take) will go along with your thought process. We must remember that our minds are always thinking and moving! It is either thinking positive thoughts to support you in your current goals, or going against you, there is no neutral, you must choose to think positive!
Another daunting reason of why most people tend to fail at their resolutions is they know their what, but not their why! In other words, they know what they want, but not why they want it. Your resolutions should be specific, vivid and time sensitive! All these only help to keep you motivated to keep going, because you know what you are working towards and why you are working towards it! Even when it gets hard, this “why” will keep you going and remind you of why you are sacrificing and working so hard every day! So it goes without saying, this should be emotional and deeply connected to you!
After going through the several reasons on why people don’t stick to their resolutions for the entirety of the year, these were just a few of the most common factors.
How Many Resolutions Should You Make?
Honestly, there is no real limit to how many resolutions you should or should not make in a given time span. Just as long as each one of them are attainable. In order to ensure that you need to make sure that you aren’t being vague when making them, and do not go into the resolution without a set plan of how it can be accomplished. Another tip when setting your resolutions for the year is to not overload yourself. Choose your plans and your goals according to what your main outcome is going to be. For example, if your main outcome at the end of the year is to lose weight, then make your resolutions in accordance with that main outcome! If your main outcome is to grow your business, then make small goals for how you’re going to do that and BE SPECIFIC!
In reality, anyone who puts their mind to it and actually puts in more than the minimal amount of effort is more than capable of accomplishing their resolutions. It’s all about mindset and making sure you set aside time for yourself this year! Don’t get swept away with the wind and only react to what is happening around you. Be the cause and effect in your life and take control!! Do not let yourself wake up this time next year to discover that you have made little to no progress on goals and resolutions that you claimed to be so important to you are your quality of life. Let’s make 2021 our year to get shit done!
If you’re like most people, you’re ready to make this year THE year! This is the year that everything you’ve ever dreamed of will finally happen for you. I myself have a big year ahead of me, but what are your actual goals for the year? How are you going to go about successfully accomplishing these goals? As the saying goes, a goal without a plan is just a wish.
Today I am going to show you a few things on how to set goals, goals that will last and goals that will lead you to success and leave you feeling accomplished.
There are 6 categories that you should break your goals down into: 1. Financial
You should aspire to have goals within each category, these categories can help define your wellness plan for yourself. Financial goals are important to have in your life. In this day and age if you don’t have control over your financial situation then it will probably be fairly hard to lead the successful life that you may have envisioned for yourself. A good financial goal would be to start a budget and stick to it. Pay off any debt you may have and start a savings plan for yourself. I listen to the Dave Ramsey podcast which has really helped to me to take large steps in accomplishing my financial goals, I recommend tuning in to his podcast so you can have the financial freedom you’ve dreamed of.
Intellectual goals are important to create and keep up with. These goals should entail things that will go towards enlightening your mind. Consider the goal of reading more, listening to an educational podcast, or maybe just improving your study habits in school.
Setting goals with your family helps with your overall wellness. Setting a goal to spend more quality time with your family or perhaps setting up a weekly family game night. A vital part to finding happiness in life is maintaining a good relationship with your family, live a life with no regrets of not setting a special time aside for family, besides just the obligated time during the holidays. Social goals go hand in hand with family, the same idea basically. Setting more time aside to be with your friends, or perhaps taking a leap of faith and trying to be more sociable and friendly within your work place.
Spiritual goals, such as setting a goal to set aside time to pray more. Or maybe a goal of getting back into the habit of going to church on Sundays. In this generation, going to church has slowly become less and less of a habit. Maybe you want to change this habit of falling out of the circle of worship, well, set your goal and start working on it. Being on good terms with God can help a person find happiness within themselves. You don’t have to go to church to get back in the worshiping spirit, maybe you listen in to religious podcasts, set some time aside to read The Bible.
Physical goals, the most common goal that most of the population strives for success in. I can’t tell you how many times I hear the new year’s resolution of working out more, getting back to the gym. Most of the time those people will only keep this promise to themselves for an average of two weeks. Don’t neglect yourself by not committing, it’s time to show yourself that you care, stop letting yourself down and stick to your physical goal that you have set for yourself.
Lastly, career goals, the goals that will help you attain your dreams of success and travel. I for one have a lot of goals set for my career. You should ensure that every year at your job is a year not wasted. Set goals to have certain tasks or certifications completed that will help you grow within your career. Make sure that you are not stuck in a dead end job with no chance of improvement, you should strive to grow and accomplish the most in your career to help achieve your well-deserved dreams of seeing the world, building your dream home or starting a family knowing that you have the stability and dependability of your well-accomplished career to support you.
Precise and Written
Setting goals for yourself is an important matter, without goals, what is the meaning of life? Why are we all here? Goals are what set apart the people who want to make a difference in life and those who do make a difference in life. When creating goals you want to make sure that they are precise and measurable. If you state you want to lose weight as your goal, you should ask yourself: How much weight? How are you going to accomplish this weight loss? When do you want the weight to be off by? These are vital questions to setting your goals, if your goals are not precise and measurable, it would be so easy to just forget about them completely. Another important part of making your goals is to WRITE THEM DOWN! It’s easy to forget something that is not written down, it is easy to ignore something when you aren’t bothered by seeing it daily. When you write your goals down it becomes something physically tangible, something that you can use to remind yourself why you should be pushing yourself a little more everyday. It’s time to set up a plan for what you want in life and create a vision of yourself and who you strive to be. When your goal has been accomplished, you will have the satisfaction of marking it off of your list, another goal in the bag, accomplished and conquered. Leaving you with no regrets and helping you to live a more positive and successful life.