Be Happy.

As I slowly inch myself into reading daily again, I came across a quote, “You won’t be happy unless you decide to be”. The key word being DECIDE! Being happy isn’t the way of life, things will get thrown at you left and right, bad days roll in like never ending waves. But unless we mentally decide to be happy we will never truly BE HAPPY.

People think that they should wait for the bad days to be over before deciding to be happy. When in reality, you will never not have a bad day. They are unpredictable and honestly just a part of life. We must comprehend that and make the decision to be happy in spite of the bad days.

We are always longing for what we don’t have, longing for the next chapter in our lives while rushing for our current chapter to close. It’s time we realize that happiness is enjoying what’s right in front of us, the present day. When we long for the future we are simply letting the present slip through our fingers and when the things we said we wanted in the future are finally in our grasp, we realize that we still want what we don’t have and can’t be happy until we have it. Longing for the future can be great, but it shouldn’t take away from the value of life in the present. Another quote that sits in the back of my mind daily, “You once yearned to be where you are right now”.

I’d hate for so many people to be continuously yearning for what they don’t have, something that can never be fully fulfilled because we will always want something more as time goes on. Do not rob yourself of the gift of life by wishing for the present to be over so you can skip ahead. Enjoy where you are right now in this very moment. Enjoy the loving people that you have surrounded yourself with in your life and enjoy your present situation. This is the last day that things will be as they are, each day brings on new challenges and with them come changes. Molding you for your future and where you want to go.

No one ever said life was easy, so we must consciously decide for ourselves and our own mental sanity to BE HAPPY! I could easily ramble on for hours on this topic but I will just leave you with these final words.

Recognize that happiness is a choice and not just a way of being.

A Calm Mind Has Great Energy

I recently just made my blog a twitter page (link below), and this quote came up on my feed and it really stuck with me. “A calm mind has great energy”. There is just so much truth behind it, a calm mind has great energy.

In other words, a mind that processes before responding, a mind that listens to understand and not to just respond. A mind that tries to understand the other’s perspective and how the other person may be feeling, that mind, has great energy.

So many people in today’s society are so quick to judge, to assume, to prioritize their own thoughts as superior to any other. It’s rare to meet a person who has mastered the practice of calming a mind. I have been attempting to master this since my teen years. I used to be very hot headed, easily angered, always feeling as if the world was on the verge of ending at the slightest inconvenience.

I would definitely say that I have mentally upgraded since then, as any person would with age. I am nowhere near mastering but calming my mind before responding is something I do on the daily and take very seriously. Now when I am faced with anything undesirable or not in my favor, I take time to comprehend the actions that have been done. I take some time away from the problem to see how it could be made into something positive or something that’s for the better. I separate myself from the issue so I can recenter my thoughts and ensure my actions are not being fueled by remiss. A calm mind has great energy, because it is a well thought out mind, it is a well justified mind, a mind that has gathered research, data, advice, contemplation and so much more and has now come to a final decision.

The true moral of the quote: Think before you respond. Live your life the way you would want to be treated, do things you think are right because you can fully respect the decision being made.

Calm your mind so you can radiate great energy!!

Where I’ve Been Lately

Since I’ve been on hiatus, I felt it necessary to give you all a little update on what’s been happening in my life before fully diving back into the blogging world.

My Work

Last you all heard I was on my way to becoming a teacher, that is no longer the case anymore. Unfortunately I did not qualify to get my Certificate of Eligibility and I’m sorry but, I have no interest in returning to school, that chapter is closed permanently. So on to the next adventure! I am now working for a home mortgage company as a Loan Processor with one of my cousins! It seems to be the perfect fit for me, it gives me so much freedom to still have a life and be involved with my family and I actually love learning about all the processes and the industry itself. I told myself I would stick with this industry for the long run because I am extra tired of the job hunting. But the good thing about this job is that I love it and I can make this into a great career for myself and it still lets me appreciate my inner values of being with my family while still working towards my future goals !

My Family

As you all know, I lost my brother back in January. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, with its fair share of ups and downs. At first the family was all united but somewhere deep down I knew that wouldn’t last long. Some members have gone their separate ways, others I just needed to separate myself from the negativity for a while in order to help myself properly heal. I don’t think it’s selfish to make yourself the priority in your own life, especially when it comes to dealing with the grief of a close immediate family member. All I can do now is pray for them and love them from afar.

I’ve been on my own path, surrounding myself with like-minded people. Focusing on my goals and making sure that I appreciate every moment given to me. I make sure I’m extremely involved in my family and that I am creating memories with each and every person. Because honestly, the only thing that’s left behind when you’re gone, the memories you’ve shared and the love that was given.

My Current State of Mind

I’ve just been focusing on the here and now. I think of my brother literally all the time and I make sure I do my best to keep his memory alive. I’m making a scrapbook of him that’s very in detail of all our memories that we shared together. I spend pretty much all of my time with Maelyn and make sure she and Madison know they are loved and supported. I live life as if it were my last day, I have more sleepovers with my friends/family. I go to watch the sunrise at least once a month, I plan spontaneous trips to travel and to experience new things and I always tell my people that I love them. I also started CrossFit because I’m tired of waiting “to start tomorrow”, I want to be happy with myself both physically and mentally and it has been a great experience so far and I feel so much stronger and happier with myself.

Manny has truly taught me the meaning of “life is too short”, you hear it all the time and still believe that you are the exception. But no one is safe from time, it keeps going even when you don’t. So I try my best to enjoy all the little things and all the people who support and love me, the people that create my own personal safe haven from all the drama and distress in today’s world. I always do what I think is right in my heart and I always do what’s best for my mental health and well-being in the end. My motives are always aiming towards a more positive life, no drama just love and peace. I’m exactly the person I believe myself to be and I will keep being that person.

My Plans and The Blog

So my current plans for my future, which change often, are as follows. I plan to grow within my company and become a Loan Officer, something that’s already been in the works training wise and I’m so lucky to be in a company that believes in me and wants to see my succeed. I plan to continue being extremely involved with all my family members and I plan to continue furthering my knowledge by reading books and going to church and just experiencing things in life and truly living, not just letting time pass. I plan to keep going strong and make the vision that I have for myself and my family a reality. Whatever it takes.

This post is my official reactivation of the blog. I plan to only post weekly, because daily ended up feeling like a chore. Although the main focus of my blog is positivity I plan to incorporate more of my life and personal experiences into it, in hopes that I can make it more personable and relatable. I plan to stay consistent now that I am better adjusted to my new life and the new family additions and losses and I hope I can make a difference in someone’s life by speaking from the heart always.

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SETTING A POSITIVE CLIMATE

This is something that may seem very simple and easy but it can actually be quite difficult and trying at times. The main point of setting a positive climate for anywhere or anyone you interact with is to be open to positive energy flowing and returning back to you. If we walk into a room or get into an argument with a negative climate surrounding us, nothing but negativity is going to return to you.

Setting a positive climate can be as simple as hearing the other person out, simply listening to their side of the story instead of barking at them and cutting them off. You never want to go into anything assuming the worst, we all must assume the best in order to set the positive climate. Another thing, we must not start our day “on the wrong side of the bed”. Yes we could have woken up grouchy but we should take a minute and re-evaluate all the things we are grateful for in this life and in this day and then reset our moods, or at least try our best to do so. Being positive may come naturally to some people but for most it does take a lot of effort, forgiveness and a lot of conscious decision making.

Imagine you are on the way to work and some ass on the street cuts you off and then has the audacity to brake check you! Of course this would make anyone mad and make us want to curse perhaps and honk on the horn. A lot of people then carry that road rage anger into their work space and walk into the room with furrowed brows and an attitude. Cutting people short on their greetings and slamming doors. You may even find any way to continue this unpleasant mood by listing every reason on why you wish to be elsewhere, why this job sucks and so on and so on. Not only have you let this stranger affect your mood but your letting your mood disrupt the happiness of everyone around you.

Instead of letting a complete stranger ruin your entire day, how about we just get angry for the one second that the incident occurred. You cursing and honking your horn honestly won’t make you feel much better and you spending the rest of your day in a frantic rage is helping absolutely no one. So why do we do this? Why do we let complete strangers, who we will never encounter again, take control of OUR day? This is where the conscious decision making comes into play. We must consciously decide to let it go, because perhaps he had to be somewhere and was in a rush, perhaps he didn’t realize he had brake checked you and cut you off. We must learn to see things from a different perspective and we must learn to let things go and to not let our negativity affect those around us, especially when the ones around you have nothing to do with the incident.

Setting a positive climate is like having a clean slate. Once you can rationalize why a person behaved the way they did by putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their point of view, we can then consciously decide to forgive and let it go. We can then decide to have a fresh start in the next moment by setting a positive climate for yourself and for others who are around you. By setting yourself back on the track to positivity you are then welcoming more positivity back into your life, and you will be surprised at how great your day may end up being.

EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION

With every action there is a reaction. Depending on how big or serious the reaction was will vary on how big or serious the action may have been. These are the basic things that we were taught in grade school! But this does not have to be the case for our actual daily lives. So many people feel that the world is just “happening” to them, which is true to an extent. Yes we cannot control what the world or the Universe throws at us, all we can control is how we choose to react or respond to the situations we find ourselves in.

When you find yourself being at the mercy of the Universe ask yourself this one question, “Will this matter in a year from now?”, ask yourself this BEFORE you react! Sometimes we can make the situation ten times worse just by how we choose to respond. We let our primal instincts kick in and turn into this raging, furious monster which breaks and destroys everything in its path, in other words, only making things worse. But if you took the time to stop and ask yourself this one simple question, we can then take control of the situation by choosing how to react.

At the end of the day, the only control you have in your life IS how you choose to respond to anything thrown at you! It’s a small but powerful control mechanism. You can either receive the terrible news and just let yourself go into a downward spiral, throwing yourself a pity party and letting everything you’ve worked so hard far turn to crap. OR you can choose to look at the bright side, find the silver lining and turn the situation into something positive!

For instance, a lot of people were let go during Covid. Instead of reacting negatively, throwing a pity party and worrying about everything that you have lost, we can turn it around and see it as a blessing in disguise. We now get to spend more time with our families at home, we can go outside and enjoy the fresh air a little more. We can finish some of the home projects we’ve been neglecting and in the mean time we can search for new opportunities of work, maybe ones that we’ve been holding back on because of the timing, and maybe ones that we’ve been wanting to pursue for a long time.

There is always a bright side to every single situation thrown at us and we can always find the silver lining. It’s up to us to change the way we think and to take control of our ONE control mechanism we have, HOW WE RESPOND. Do not explode over something that you won’t even remember in a year, it’s a pure waste of energy and it won’t get you far. We must choose to live in the present and handle all situations given to us with grace, patience and positivity. Just because you had a bad day, does not mean you have a bad life, you will make it through this and you will realize just how much control you have by choosing to respond gracefully.

STOP LIVING IN AN IMAGINED FUTURE

Have you ever pictured out how your future will look like? Pictured your whole life and how it would play out, how many kids you’d have, who’d you marry, where’d you live and what kind of job you’d be doing? It’s honestly quite normal to do this and I myself do this a lot. But it’s important that we don’t use these imagined futures as the firm blueprints of our lives.

Life changes on the daily, circumstances change, people walk in and walk out of your life and nothing is really foreseen. So it’s vital that we learn to grow with the flow. Odds are, our perfectly imagined futures will not play out the way we want them too so I think we should spend a little less time planning out every little detail of what you want and a little more time on just living our lives.

A healthier version of imagining your future would be to determine what it is you want out of life and then taking small steps that will get you towards your ultimate end goal. Don’t obsess over the small details because those can and will change with time. Focus on the one end goal and make sure you are slowly working towards that and in turn you will be working towards your future.

So many people have these exact plans of what they want to happen and when they want them to occur but sometimes the things we want are completely out of our control. The people in our lives are their own people and cannot be controlled by your plan. So it’s unreasonable to live your life on that type of tight schedule. As long as you know you’re working towards the future you want, the rest will fall into place when the time is right. It may not be the time you had planned or wanted, which is fine, but you can only control what you do and that’s that.

So loosen the reigns a little and just learn to live in the now. Stop focusing on your imagined future and focus on what you can control (yourself). As long as we have some type of vision that we are working towards and we make sure that we are taking the necessary steps required of us, then we will obtain the end goal.

THE ONLY THING HOLDING YOU BACK IS FEAR

Today’s topic: Fear. Throughout our journeys in life we tend to discover what we like and what we don’t like, things we like to do and things we tend to avoid. But have you ever wondered what your life could be like if you ventured outside of your comfort zone, just a smidge, to discover something completely new and exciting and even liberating!

Most of us have an extremely difficult time getting out of our comfort zones because it is getting you to do something you either haven’t done before and is totally new to you or it’s opening you up to new experiences that you feel you may not be prepared for. We must remember that we are all born the same, we are all brought into this world with no prejudgments, with no bias or opinions and no fears! It’s not until we start to grow that we begin developing said fears. Some may be irrational and others may be brought about due to traumatic experiences but in life we are put on a roller coaster. Things are thrown at us from all sides and we must learn to deal and to heal with these things. The only real thing that is holding us back is fear.

We must learn to let go and move on. Can you imagine living a life where nothing changes for several years? All because you were scared to put yourself out there, scared to let go, scared to move on. We cannot and must not live our lives in fear because in the end does that really qualify as living? Those who live with no fear are the ones who get to experience the full beauty of life and can really say that they’ve lived. But for the ones frozen in fear, too scared to take a step forward or even a step backwards, those are the ones who stay stagnant in time. If you are stuck in one spot, you are literally just watching life fly by you.

So, today’s topic was fear, we need to stop letting fear hold us back and start living, like TRULY LIVING! I know that when my time comes, I will have no regrets because I chose to live my life exactly how I wanted to. No one wants to be the person who is old and gray and bitter because they wish they could go back in time to actually live their life.

LEARN TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT

This topic can be interpreted in many different ways, today I will discuss the importance of living in the present when it comes to losing someone.

Since the passing of my oldest brother I’ve found it to be extremely difficult to focus on the present. I constantly find myself reminiscing of the “good ole days” and wishing I could be back there. Sometimes I get so caught up in the memories that I end up making myself upset. This is where the advice of learning to live in the present comes into play. It’s a very hard subject to take your mind off of, but I tell myself daily to focus on the present and to focus on the future. The past is gone and there is nothing more I can do to change the hard truth that he is gone. If there is anything I could do I would have done it by now, no question.

The key word out of all of this is “Learn”, as it is a learning process. To learn and to figure out how to continue living in my present life without my brother because it feels so irregular to have to do something as easy as living. When I remind myself to stop thinking of the negative and to focus on living in the present and for what has yet to come, I can pick myself back up and keep it moving.

I have to focus on being a better person in this world, I have to focus on being there for my family and being there for his daughter when she arrives in June. I have to focus on strengthening myself so that when his daughter is here I can tell her all the stories that me and her daddy share together and to make sure that his memory will continue to live on through me and his family.

So, even though learning to live in the present is an extremely hard topic, it is necessary. I can’t keep my thoughts secluded to the past, I have to keep moving forward for him and I have to be prepared for the blessing that is on the way. We all need to learn to live in the present because living in the past will only bring us heartache. Of course it’s healthy to remember the good times and all the laughs and smiles but when it gets to the point that you find yourself getting severely depressed by the thoughts, then you need to remind yourself to live in the present!

NO MORE BROADCASTING YOUR THOUGHTS

For some reason a lot of people find it appropriate to broadcast their every thought on their social media for all to see. I’m sorry if you feel that you may be one of those people but here’s a few reasons as to why you may want to second-guess doing this in the future.

When you broadcast your every thought with no type of filter, it may come back to bite you. Imagine if you’re having an exceptionally bad day and you just pick up your phone and type the first thought that comes to mind and post it onto your social media. This thought was an instant reaction to your surroundings, it may be unfiltered and it may be directed towards another person or group and even offend some of your social media friends. As a result you begin to receive negative comments on your post and arguments breaking out, which is only going to lead to more negativity.

It’s vital that when we are in some type of negative mood that we stop to think first before we do. We stop to think FIRST before we speak! Always stop FIRST and THINK. Ask yourself, will this help solve my problem? Will this bring about positive energy? Will this change anything? When you ask yourself these simple questions, you may rethink posting your first thought that comes to mind for all to see.

Another reason why it’s not the best idea to broadcast your every thought, is that you may feel heated in the moment but once you cool off you will probably feel differently. But it won’t matter, because you already posted your first irrational thought/emotion onto the internet for all to see. You can take it down but several of your friends could have already seen and even screenshotted your post. Now you’re just left with the shame of having posted it in the first place.

Lastly, most of the time when an irrational post is made it generally has to do with some sort of personal drama. I’m not sure why people feel the need to share their personal drama with the internet, I’ve never really understood that. But when you let people peak into the windows of your life you’re opening yourself up to toxic energy. People on the outside who don’t need to be involved in your personal life now have this irrational post to justify their opinions on not only you but your family as well. Don’t give people any type of reason to judge you or your life decisions based on a spur of the moment thought/emotion that you never should have posted in the first place. It only opens you up to more drama which leads to more negativity.

So, next time you are in a heated moment, STOP and THINK before you post! Stop broadcasting your every thought on social media/internet and close the door to negativity. When you use your social media for good and only post what you want the world to know (the good stuff) then you will discover a new way to put an end to drama and negativity and open yourself up to new and better things! The only control we have in this life is how we react to our surroundings, so make sure you stay in control.

LEAVE SOME “WHITE SPACE” ON YOUR TO DO LISTS

I for one always love to fill up my entire to-do lists and then I began to feel crazed as I start to make my way down them. I’ve realized that I shouldn’t be overloading myself with tasks that don’t all have to be done in the same day! I’ve started making my lists for the week, rather than for the day and that has helped a lot .

It’s vital that we leave some time for ourselves to relax and regenerate. We don’t need to complete absolutely everything on our to-do lists each day so it’s important that we leave some white space on them. It’s almost impossible to always get everything done when you never leave time for yourself in the process, you will start to feel stressed, high-strung and tense because you never give yourself a break!

So spread out those to do lists, prioritize them: most important first to least important last. Spread them out to a week instead of just a day and always leave some free time or white space to relax and give yourself a break! You’ll find yourself feeling more accomplished and not so stressed which in turn is the more positive outcome for everyone involved.