It’s not the fact that I’ve been secluded since I moved to my own place, although that is a key factor, not gonna lie. But in all honesty the amount of journaling and reading and listening to podcasts I’ve been doing has increased immensely and in those things I’ve learned a little more about boundaries.
So many people have boundaries but how many of us can say that we actually stand by them and respect them, which in turn means respecting ourselves. Enforcing boundaries is the main part of having boundaries. Why be up front with someone and tell them what does and doesn’t bother you just to continue letting them disrespect you and your feelings by always crossing the line. What I really took away from all this is, yes we all have boundaries and most of us know them right away. But enforcing them is another story. I have had a lot of instances where I put my feelings to the side just because I didn’t want to start any drama or make anyone feel uncomfortable, at the expense of my own peace!
I will no longer be doing that, being in complete solitude and finding my peace has been so amazing and I refuse to introduce or re-introduce anyone into my life that jeopardizes that peace. I think putting in place boundaries with new relationships is easier than instilling boundaries with seasoned relationships. Just be sure to introduce them with grace, give the person some time to adjust and make sure there are consequences in place for when those boundaries are broken. If someone breaks one of your boundaries and continues to do so and you just continue to not doing anything about it, well I’m pretty sure they’re just gonna keep doing it. So if people aren’t respecting your feelings after you’ve made them clear it’s time to put some distance between you and that person until they can respect you and your boundaries.
One more thing before I jump off, “Blood isn’t thicker than peace” – straight from my favorite podcast ‘The Self Love Fix’. Don’t use the excuse of “they are my family” to keep them around if they truly do not respect your boundaries. I for one have had to step away from a lot of relatives in order to maintain my peace and honestly it really has been for the better. I used to be caught up in a never ending cycle of drama just because I was living my life and they decided that what I was doing wasn’t up to par with what they thought I should be doing. Guess what, it’s my life and I choose my family, just because we share the same blood in our veins does not mean you deserve a place in my life. I’m not saying to cut them out completely if that isn’t a true option for you (sometimes it is) but at least put some distance between you and that person. They don’t need to be involved in your everyday affairs, just be sure that you are in control and never give them that chance to cross the line again.
BOUNDARIES = RESPECT – IT CHANGES LIVES! Be sure to enforce yours and just watch how much better life can be!